A great kiss can make you feel on top of the world, and there's no wrong way to do it.
Although there is no right or wrong way to kiss, it's a personal journey of discovering your unique style and refining your techniques to harmonize with your partner's preferences.
We're here to guide you with the most effective tips, from a quick peck to a steamy makeout session!
In this article:
- Types of Kisses
- Kissing Etiquette: The 'Unspoken' Ground Rules
- Best Tips on How To Kiss
- FAQs
- Key Takeaways
Note: Read the whole article or scroll down to the KEY TAKEAWAYS section at the end of this article for a short summary.
Types of Kisses
French kissing is a popular style often described as a makeout, involving a combination of open-mouth kissing with tongue.
A kiss has many nuances, depending on the context, such as who you're kissing, how often you've smooched them, and, of course, the specific type of kiss involved.
Here are a few of the most popular types of kisses.
The Classic Lip Kiss or "Peck"
In its purest form, the classic kiss, often called a peck, is a closed-mouth kiss that can be as simple as genuine.
With your lips puckered out, you'll lean in and gently touch your partner's lips.
It is the perfect type of first kiss, as it is intimate without being overly sensual.
The Sexy French Kiss or "Makeout"
Spicing things up a notch, we have the oh-so-passionate French kiss. French kissing is a popular style often described as a makeout, involving a combination of open-mouth kissing with tongue.
It's important to note that there is such a thing as a 'kissing spectrum' whereby no two people do it the same – some prefer a wetter kiss, some like a little less tongue, and others prefer a slow and sensual makeout rhythm.
The Freaky Vampire Kiss
As the name suggests, the vampire kiss is an elevated form of a kiss, incorporating a gentle nibble to add a touch of excitement and kink.
The vampire kiss is not for everyone and should only be practiced when you've warmed up to your partner and have explored variations of the French kiss. Some people like to add a soft bite to a makeout as you get comfortable. It can be done by biting your partner's lower lip or lightly tugging it with your teeth.
The Lip-Less Lizard Kiss
The lizard kiss is the lesser-known type of kiss that can be incredibly sensual. It involves both partners touching tongues exclusively, without any lip action.
This technique, while not appealing to everyone out there, can be integrated into a steamy makeout session, adding a more erotic element.
The Saucy Spiderman Kiss
The Spiderman kiss is like your everyday kiss, only flipped upside down.
To pull this off, the person initiating the kiss lies on their back with their head hanging off a tall surface, like a bed or couch. The other person leans over them, creating the iconic upside-down kiss seen in the movies.
It can be a playful variation that adds a ton of passion and romance to your kissing routine.
The Sensual Body Kiss
Some of the best kisses don't have to involve lip-to-lip action. The body kiss elevates both the level of pleasure and intimacy of a regular kiss. It can be an incredible form of foreplay.
With consent from your partner, the body kiss involves traveling from the lips to other body parts, such as the earlobes, chest, and stomach. Some of the best 'hot spot' body kisses are where the blood flows closest to the skin (often the top erogenous zones), such as the nipples, inner thighs, and neck.
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Kissing Etiquette: The 'Unspoken' Ground Rules
Figuring out when to lock lips can be tricky. Much of this comes down to body language and interpreting physical cues from our partners.
Before learning to kiss, we must review a few ground rules. While some of these rules might be obvious, others might make you say, "Oh, that's good to know."
Here are our top 7 ground rules to help you transform a good kiss into a great kiss!
1. Know that the person you want to kiss wants to kiss you back
Figuring out when to lock lips can be tricky. Much of this comes down to body language and interpreting physical cues from our partners.
Since it's not always clear as day, here are some ways to help you figure this out:
- Eye contact: sustained eye contact, especially when mixed in with lingering glances at your lips, can be an excellent indicator of interest
- Physical closeness: if the person you want to kiss is moving closer to you, it may suggest a desire to increase physical connection
- Body language: when your partner is facing you, leaning in, or mirroring your movements, they may be showing affection and attraction
- Touching/flirting: playful teasing, subtle compliments, and causal touches to your arms, hands, or legs may indicate a desire to become intimate
- Verbal cues: when the person you want to kiss expresses feelings of attraction/admiration or hints that they want to get a little closer to you are all positive signs
Lastly, it's also important to consider the context of the situation. Often, people don't necessarily want to be seen kissing someone (especially when sharing a first kiss) in a public space.
2. Always respect consent
While all these hints are great to learn about a person, respecting their consent is also necessary.
Ways to do this may include:
- Communicating with your partner about their interest in sharing a kiss.
- Paying close attention to body language.
- Be mindful of their enthusiasm towards agreeing to move forward with the kiss.
If your partner expresses hesitancy or declines, respect their decision without pressuring or making them feel uncomfortable.
3. Do not go in for tongue too soon
Once you've gained the reassurance to go in for a kiss, avoid going in for tongue straight away.
Instead, you want to start slowly, gauging their comfort level in the type of kiss they want. The best default is often to start with a classic lip kiss/peck.
4. Keep your eyes closed
While keeping your eyes closed during a kiss isn't a strict rule, it is the most socially accepted way.
For starters, it can help intensify your sensory experience, allowing you to connect solely from the touch of your lips without any distractions. Also, kissing someone is a very vulnerable act of passion. Keeping our eyes closed can encourage us to relax and let any feelings of self-consciousness melt away.
5. Don't get too handsy
Before going in for a kiss, it's important never to assume you have the right to place your hands anywhere on their body. Taking things nice and slow is always the best method for a successful kiss.
When in doubt, place your hands high on their waist, around their face, or somewhere on their hands or arms.
It can add a bit of passion to the kiss without being disrespectful.
6. Wear lip balm
Chapped lips can make a kiss awkward and uncomfortable. Lip balm can keep lips smooth and moisturized, making for a more mutually enjoyable kiss.
7. Breathe through your nose
When it comes to kissing, all closed-mouth and open-mouth kisses should be performed while breathing through the nose. Not only does this help you focus on the touch, taste, and sensations of the kiss without being distracted by your breath, but it also prevents dry mouth during a prolonged kiss.
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Best Tips on How To Kiss
Once you've received the cues (or verbal confirmation) that the kiss is on, it's time to lean in. As you move into the kiss, tilt your head slightly to one side.
Sharing a kiss is an exciting, thrilling, and butterfly-inducing event that should get your blood pumping.
While it's expected to be a bit nervous with a new kissing partner, having a few handy tips to fall back on can help make the experience smoother.
Set the mood
Getting into the proper physical and emotional space is essential for a great first kiss. As you prepare for your kiss, remember to have fun with your partner—be a little flirtatious and notice how they respond.
Establish eye contact
Be intentional with your eye contact. As they talk to you, look at them longingly, showing that you desire to move in for a kiss. It's also helpful to switch your glance between their lips and their eyes — even when there is a quiet moment of passion between you.
Lean in
Once you've received the cues (or verbal confirmation) that the kiss is on, it's time to lean in. As you move into the kiss, tilt your head slightly to one side.
Research has found that turning your head to the right is more acceptable due to social learning, cultural norms, etc. It can prevent us from bumping our noses before we get a chance to kiss.
Keep your mouth relaxed
As you approach their face, keep your lips soft and your mouth relaxed as you connect to their lips. It's also helpful to have your lips slightly parted for both an open-mouth kiss and a closed-mouth kiss.
When you're ready to level up from a peck to a makeout, here's what you'll want to do.
Add a little tongue (less is more)
Adding a bit of tongue is a popular kissing technique in advanced makeout styles. Since the goal is to avoid overwhelming our partner's mouth with too much saliva, starting with a little tongue is essential before ramping things up.
Too much tongue can squash the mood. Try gently touching the tip of your tongue to your partners' as you kiss.
Find a natural rhythm
Using kissing feedback from your partner, continue as you find a natural rhythm that feels right.
While there is no perfect kissing pattern, it's helpful to think of open-mouth kissing as a transfer of mouth movement, switching the smooch from your partner's bottom to their upper lip. Move back and forth while introducing the tip of your tongue occasionally.
Gradually increase the intensity
Following their lead, it may be appropriate to increase the intensity of your kiss. You can achieve this by either increasing the pace of your lip movement and rhythm or including a bit more tongue as you perform each motion.
Sex therapists suggest some light tongue sucking to help drive up the sexual intensity of a kiss.
Incorporate your hands slowly and carefully
As things are heating up, it may also be the right time to incorporate your hands more than before.
Start with gentle touches before the kiss, eventually finding your way to the sides of their face as you start your smooth. Build anticipation as you gradually let your hands explore the contours of their neck, shoulders, and back.
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FAQs
It's all about body language. As you approach for a kiss, observe their nonverbal signals, such as prolonged eye contact, smiling, glances at each other's lips, subtle touches, and leaning closer.
How do I kiss properly for the first time?
Go into your first kiss with genuine enthusiasm, focusing on your partner's cues. Tilt your head to the side and slowly move in to connect your lips with theirs.
Begin by exploring tender kisses with minimal or no tongue, gradually adjusting to your partner's comfort level and responsiveness.
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How do you move your lips when kissing?
Start by softly pressing your lips against your partner's, then gradually create gentle and rhythmic kissing motions. Please pay close attention to how your partner responds, and adjust based on their cues, such as whether they prefer more or less tongue.
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How long should a French kiss last?
The duration of a French kiss is entirely flexible. It depends on you and your partner's comfort levels, especially if it's your first kiss. It can range from a quick half-second peck to an extended five-minute or more session!
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How do I know if the other person wants to be kissed?
It's all about body language. As you approach for a kiss, observe their nonverbal signals, such as prolonged eye contact, smiling, glances at each other's lips, subtle touches, and leaning closer. These cues suggest they might be interested in kissing you back.
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KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Achieving relationship satisfaction begins with the intimate connection shared through a kiss
- Kissing is a unique journey, and there's no 'right or wrong way.' Discovering your style and enhancing techniques is essential for a fulfilling experience with your partner
- Understand unspoken ground rules, including respecting consent, avoiding early use or unexpected tongue, keeping your eyes closed, and being mindful of hand placement
- Whether you're new to the game or a seasoned professional in first kisses, there's always something to learn and improve on
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The Steady Freddy Team
We create this content to help couples and individuals better understand sexual wellness, with a focus on premature ejaculation, one of the most common male sexual dysfunctions. To address this issue, we've developed a medically formulated delay spray designed to help men last longer and perform better during sex. Learn how to use delay spray to maximize its effectiveness. Our articles are thoroughly researched, backed by data and studies, and medically reviewed for accuracy to provide reliable and insightful information.
Medical Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to give medical advice or substitute for the medical advice of a physician.